Barry is Dead
by Juliet Riversong
Summary: Aftermath of 2.20 Rupture. "It was like she was punched in the gut. Or like her whole world just... Stopped. Take your pick of any of the dramatic metaphors or similes describing complete and utter devastation. They'd all be true." Caitlin has no idea what happened to Barry. Zoom takes delight in letting her know exactly what happened. Lots of angst, but it gets better. Snowbarry.
1. Barry is Dead

**AN: After last episode, my shipper heart was unsatisfied when it realized that Caitlin doesn't really know what happened to Barry (not to mention all the subtext inferring Snowbarry). So I got to wondering what would've happened if Zoom went back to the police station and let Cait know that Barry died (or at least that what they all thought happened).**

 **So, yeah. This was born. (Snowbarry ftw)**

...

Lightning struck in the distance and there was the faint rumble of thunder that signified a storm. The auburn-haired prisoner pulled her knees closer to her chest with the one arm not handcuffed to the desk, wondering why Zoom had screamed and then bolted off. Did something happen? Was the team finally able to figure out a way to stop him? What about Barry's speed?

All these questions and more flashed - no pun intended - through her mind as she awaited the return of her captor or hopefully one of the members of Team Flash. For some reason, she felt a small sense of dread settle over her.

When Zoom came through the door, that sense of dread only grew even though he was in the same black suit and had the same blue lightning zapping around him. It felt different this time. Like he was done being nice.

He took off his mask to expose his face - his _real_ face - and she could just _see_ that he was hiding a smirk. Jay, or Zoom, or Hunter, or _whatever his goddamned name was_ , crouched down like he had when he was trying to convert her to the dark side (Cisco would have loved that she thought about it that way).

For her part, she glared at him with as much ferocity as she could muster with her stomach churning and without letting the disgust show on her face.

"What do you want?" she asked, her gaze steely and voice hard. A sigh came from the man and he shook his head as if he were about to say something that he was sorry about though it was blatantly obvious that he wasn't actually sorry.

"Caitlin... I know this is going to be hard for you, but you need to know. It's about Barry," he started, the malicious glee mounting in his eyes.

She froze at that. Barry? What about Barry? Did something happened to him? The doctor spoke none of these questions aloud. Instead, she uttered a different question:

" _What did you do to him?_ "

Zoom shook his head again - she was really getting tired of the condescending action.

"My dear, dear Cait." She shuddered at the use of her nickname. " _I_ did nothing to your beloved Flash," he continued, adding as much contempt as possible. She remained silent, waiting for him to continue. Barry was fine. He was always fine. He had to be...

"Barry is dead," he finally said, no longer able to keep the twisted grin from his face as he took in her reaction.

It was like she was punched in the gut. Or like her whole world just... Stopped. Take your pick of any of the dramatic metaphors or similes describing complete and utter devastation. They'd all apply.

Little moments shot through her in the span of the 30 seconds it took for her heart to restart.

Her father's death.

" _Daddy, no!"_

Her mother's... Cold heart.

" _You are such a disappointment, Caitlin. Why did I even have a child?_ "

The first time she lost Ronnie.

" _I'll be back. I promise._ "

The second time she lost Ronnie.

" _I know it'll be dangerous, but I have to try._ "

The revelation that Jay wasn't who he said he was.

" _It's Jay. He's Zoom._ "

Every moment in her life where she was devastated. And now... Now _this moment_ could be added to that list.

" _Barry is dead._ "

She didn't even realize she was crying until a deep chuckle rumbled past Zoom's lips and she snapped herself from her thoughts to feel the tears rolling down her face. She just stared blankly at him, registering and yet not registering his words.

"Well, at least now you might actually consider my offer; Barry's no longer here to tempt you towards the heroes," Zoom said mostly to himself. He let out a content sigh and stood back up.

"I'll leave you to your... Mourning," he taunted, rolling his eyes. He replaced the mask and sped out of the building.

As soon as he was gone, it was like a dam opened up. Sobs wracked her body and she tugged on the wrist handcuffed to the desk, feeling like ripping her hair out. This wasn't fair. Barry had said... Barry was supposed to be the one who didn't leave her. Who would never leave her. Him and Cisco. The three of them were supposed to be a team. A _family_. And now? Now she didn't know what to do.

Obviously she still hoped that they'd find some way to save her. She wasn't so melodramatic that Barry's death meant she wished for her life to end. But she wasn't so self-centered as to think that she was the team's top priority. Was there a body to take care of? Were they holding an impromptu funeral? Was she going to miss it?

Caitlin sniffled, trying to rein in her tears. He wouldn't want her to cry. He'd want her to remain strong and try to work a way out of this situation.

Her dull hazel eyes, filled with sadness, fell to her feet as she let her mind wander through all the memories from when she was recruited to help care for the comatose man to when he woke up and brought sunshine back into her life to when they were singing karaoke at the bar. To this day, "Summer Lovin'" still makes her laugh and cringe at the same time.

Only a memory with Barry could garner such a strange reaction without fail. She was - _is_ \- so thankful that Barry had found his way into her life. Despite what she had told the woman, she didn't think that Iris pursuing Barry was a good idea.

Not because Barry didn't feel the same way, 'cause she had no real way of knowing that. But because she, herself, had developed feelings for him. Strong, deep feelings. Feelings that... That made her incredibly happy. Incredibly content.

And now? Now that was all gone. Three words had changed her entire world. Just when she had begun to build up hope for a better life; a better future, she was knocked down again.

Caitlin Snow, the woman held captive in not only the police station, but now in her own head, drew her knees closer once more. Trapped with her morbid, depressed thoughts, the personal physician with no _person_ to assess sat idly as the last light of the day faded from the sky.

...

 **AN: Sorry that was so sad, guys. I had to get it out. Tho I am incredibly impressed with how quickly I cranked this out. I mean, I got this idea a few hours after watching the show and then just - bam - wrote it in just under an hour. Sure, it's not that long, but I'm still so proud. I've been stuck with a horrible case of writer's block. So yeah. Sorry, I won't keep you any longer.**

 **Read and review and don't forget to stick around for a possible second chapter (one where they're reunited -** ** _and it feels_** ** _so_** ** _good_** **)!**


	2. Barry isn't actually Dead

**AN: Alright, so just fyi, I'm assuming a lot with this next bit. Like:**

 **[1.] Barry gets back to his world. [2.] Barry gets his powers back. [3.] Team Flash manages to defeat Zoom. [4.] They rescue Caitlin before Zoom does anything super bad to her. [5.] No one is killed. [6.] I'm sorta inferring that Barry doesn't love Iris anymore (mainly because that seems like what Barry was feeling. I mean, he practically said "thanks" when she said "no matter what happens, it's not going to change how I feel about you").**

 **Also, you guys have been so incredibly sweet~ To answer the question posed by a guest: I honestly have no idea if they're gonna make Caitlin become Killer Frost. I don't really want her to cuz she's already been through so much yet I also think it'll make an opening for a "I still see the humanity in you" reaction from Barry. It does sorta look like that's what they're setting up for, but I have no clue.**

 **Special shoutout to** ** _TheJaewalker_** **for their amazingly sweet review~ No lie, it made me tear up a little. Also, I'm so glad to have recruited another person c: Welcome aboard!**

 **Okay, that is all. Carry on.**

...

Zoom had left again. She had sort of lost track of how many times he had come and gone since he told her _the news_. Caitlin had pretty much remained in the same position, only shifting slightly to remove the discomfort in her stiff joints.

She couldn't really tell, but it seemed like Zoom had been gone for a lot longer than usual. He'd normally be back by now, offering her food (that she'd nibble then push away; eating just enough to keep her alive) or extravagant things (that she'd refuse to take because she wasn't going to accept anything from him and what was the point, anyway) or attempt to sway her into joining his side: to exchange the handcuffed wrist for freedom and a tight leather suit (which she'd decline because she _still had her humanity, dammit_ ).

But he wasn't back. Had something happened? Had Team Flash defeated him?

(It felt sort of weird referring to them as 'Team Flash' when the Flash himself was no longer around. But she liked to think that the name came to stand for more than just the hero they would help.)

She quickly pushed the thought away. She wouldn't let herself build up her hopes just to have them crash back down when Zoom sauntered through the doors again. So she sighed and settled herself in for the wait.

It seemed like hours had passed before she heard the doors open. And really, what was a few more hours of waiting in the grand scheme of things?

She braced herself for the crackle of blue lightning that would always accompany Zoom's entrance. But she saw none, heard nothing but footsteps. From her vantage point, she couldn't really see the entrance of the room she was in.

Suddenly, a voice called out. And it wasn't the voice she was expecting; not by a long shot.

"Caitlin?"

She froze, her eyes widening. Was this it? Had she finally snapped? Had the days and days of going over every single interaction with him finally pushed her to have hallucinations?

"Cait?"

It was only when he said that, her nickname, that she blinked and realized that it had to be real. Normally, when one called attention to a hallucination, the illusion would shatter. But this one hadn't.

"Barry?"

Her voice cracked and shook and, looking back, she would be kind of embarrassed about how she sounded (Barry would assure her that she sounded perfectly reasonable, considering the circumstances).

"Caitlin," he breathed and it was the best sound she had heard in _weeks_.

In a flash of yellow and red light, Barry was at her side, crouching down. She started to tremble because _he's here and he's alive and he has his powers_. He pulled off a glove and reached out, running his thumb over her cheek which was when she realized that she was crying (if she leaned into the touch, neither of them said anything).

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked her, taking the other glove off and setting both of them on the ground. He pulled away the mask part of his costume and vibrated a hand, snapping the cuff off and then immediately started looking her over.

"I-I'm fine," she managed to choke out, her watery gaze still locked on his face. She surged forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and nuzzling the side of it with her cheek.

Taken a little by surprise, he stumbled back slightly and fell onto his butt. He chuckled, the sound deep and rumbling and vibrating against her. He then wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I thought you were dead," she said, the words sounding choked and strained. She felt a slight increase in the pressure around her waist.

"Well, I didn't."

"Obviously. What happened?"

(She had read somewhere that hugs lasting more than 20 seconds were healing and, in this moment, never had she found something so absolutely true in the best of ways.)

Another chuckle, this one more sheepish than the last, escaped his lips.

"It's, uh... It's kind of a long story," he started. She could tell that if he wasn't hugging her, he would have rubbed the back of his neck. "A story for another time, really. Right now we should get you back to the lab," finished the speedster.

Caitlin finally pulled away, now perched between his legs, her eyes wide. She kept her hands on his shoulders because there was no way she was going to break contact, not for a while. "Wait, what about Zoom?" she asked, looking over his head as if the black-clad man would come in at any second.

"We got him. He's in custody. For good," he answered, his smile soft and sincere and his gaze on her face. His thumbs were soothingly rubbing circles at her sides. The auburn-haired woman flicked her gaze back to Barry, her mouth parted slightly in surprise.

"Really?" Hope and relief flooded her voice as she spoke the word. At his nod, fresh tears sprung to her eyes and she launched herself at him again.

He was a bit more prepared for this one, so he remained sitting and his arms immediately wrapped themselves around her.

"Hey, Cait," he said, attempting to get her attention. She pulled away, again keeping her hands on his shoulders. Her eyebrows raised questioningly as she searched his gaze for some kind of hint about what he was going to say next.

What she found nearly took her breath away.

Barry's expression was soft, the corners of his lips upturned just the slightest. His eyes held a warm twinkle as he looked back at her, his brows drawn together a fraction.

"Barry, I-," she started, but then stopped speaking when she felt his hand slide up to cup her cheek. She blinked when his other hand did the same on the opposite side. He brushed his thumbs across her cheeks, just like earlier, and his lips tugged upward a little more.

Just as he begun to gently pull her face towards him, she leaned in. Their eyes shut as their lips met and it felt like coming _home_. Her hands traveled to run her fingers through the hair on the back of his neck as their lips moved together.

Barry's lips were like waves rolling through the ocean and crashing on the shore of Cailtin's lips.

Her thoughts slapped her in the face with a memory of her conversation with Iris. The other woman was going to tell Barry about her feelings.

With much effort, she pulled herself away, Barry following behind as if she were his lifeline.

"Barry," she panted, breathless from the kiss. She forced herself to stand and walk a few steps away, her back turned toward the man.

"I... What about Iris...?" She placed a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes, fear pulling her brows together. Barry couldn't have been thinking straight. He was just glad that she was safe.

She heard the man in question stand, taking things slow for once. He touched her arm gently and brought it down so her hand was no longer on her head and was now clasped with his. Her eyes opened.

"Cait. Caitlin, look at me." Tugging slightly on her hand, he turned her back around to face him. The same look from earlier was once again on his face. He took her other hand and held it. She kept her eyes on their hands. Apparently that was good enough for him, because he spoke.

"Yes, I _did_ love her. But then I realized that she was in love with Eddie and there wasn't anything that was going to change that. So I moved on. _You_ helped me move on," he said, squeezing her hands. At that gesture, she looked up.

"I still love her, I do. But, as cliché and rom-com-y as this is going to sound... I'm not _in_ love with her. Not anymore," he added, his voice soft and gentle.

She took in a shaky breath. "Y-You... You're not?" She knew she was kind of being stupid by asking that question, but she couldn't help it. It was all pretty unbelievable.

Or was it?

He nodded.

"It's you, Caitlin. It's always going to be you." At the declaration, he gave a small smile and a breathy exhale of a laugh as if he had been stupid to not see it before.

She blinked, her eyes feeling watery again. She couldn't believe that he had been dead to her not two weeks ago. And now? Now here he was, _confessing that he loved her_. That he had loved her for a long time.

Without even thinking much over the pros and cons and becoming all... Caitlin-y about this, she just _did_. She gently pulled her hands from his and she would have felt guilty about the momentary devastation she saw in his gaze, but then she did something else.

Caitlin Snow put her hands on either side of his head and pulled him to her so their lips touched for the second time. She had to rise up a little to meet him, but it didn't seem to bother her too much. She smiled into the kiss and felt him do the same.

They both pulled away, laughing softly. It was her turn to brush her fingers across _his_ cheek. She looked into his bright, happy eyes, and her smile brightened in response.

"I love you, Barry. I really, really do," she murmured, ducking her head slightly. She told herself she was being stupid for acting sheepish about saying those words when she had just kissed him, but then she realized she didn't really care.

"Well, that's good. It'd be kinda awkward if you didn't," he said cheekily, a goofy grin spreading across his face. She rolled her eyes fondly and smacked his chest.

"You are _such_ a dork, Mr. Allen."

"Only for you, Dr. Snow."

She snorted, shaking her head. Their smiles were happy and wide and content.

He slid his hand down her arm and entwined their fingers. "Come on. Let's get back to S.T.A.R. Labs. Everyone will be glad to know you're alright," he said, eyes twinkling. He bent over and picked up his gloves.

"Alright. I would _kill_ for some Big Belly Burger. Can we stop on the way?" she asked, watching him.

"Of course we can." He straightened up and looked back at her.

"Ready to go?"

She nodded and then yelped as he hoisted her into his arms. With a cocky smirk, he sent her a wink and they sped off to get food.

Zoom was defeated, Barry was back, and everyone was safe now - or least until the next crazed metahuman rolled into town.

But if things seemed better, seemed easier in this moment? If things seemed like they would stay that way?

Well, who were they to question?

...

 **AN: This is a freaking record for me, man. I'm so proud of this. Again, thank you so much for all of the wonderful feedback.**

 **One quick question: do you guys like how I ended things? It felt sorta abrupt to me, but I may be biased.**

 **There were a few changes made to chapter one, but nothing major. Did make the summary better tho XD**

 **Anyway, love you all!**


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